We’ve come a long way from the days of Emily Post and her wedding etiquette bible, although some traditions have stuck around. Weddings are no longer the super-formal ceremonies they used to be, but some of the classic touches are nice to hold on to.

Traditions such as the Bride being escorted down the aisle by her father are sentimental and sweet; whereas the commonplace Victorian wedding’s ‘Wedding Breakfast’ has disappeared completely.

There are some wedding etiquette tips that you may want to follow, if only because they make things just a bit easier. A common question that most brides-to-be have is: What goes on the invitation? The invitation is, after all the first impression your guests will get of your wedding, and you want the wording to reflect that. Your wedding invitation will set the tone of the rest of your unique wedding, and will let guests know what to expect on your special day. Even while there is no hard and fast rule of wording for wedding invitations, there are traditional bits of information that you definitely don’t want to leave off.

Obviously the usual: who is hosting, when and where the party will be held, who is being honored, and the all-important RSVP info: phone number, email and date to respond by. Starting with your save the date card, don’t forget to incorporate the overall ideas and theme for your wedding into the invitation, even in those tiny details. Additionally, if the party has a theme, or you are giving an assignment (like 8 AM for a ‘round the clock’ shower), include that info on the invitation, as well as any special attire: beach attire, garden party casual—ladies: hats welcome! Start with this basic information and search around, or browse friends’ old invitations for ideas on wording your wedding invitations.

Another area of etiquette tradition and confusion can be the receiving line. Traditionally, there was a very rigid order to who congratulated the bride and groom immediately after they were wed. Classic wedding etiquette dictated that the newlyweds position themselves at the end of the aisle, were they were congratulated first by their relatives, then by their friends; after which, they were at liberty to leave their formal position, and mingle with the crowd. Today’s wedding etiquette is much more relaxed and casual – the receiving line has little to no pecking order, friends and family mingle however they like and the whole process is much more laid-back.

Certain bridal party functions are also an area of etiquette concern even in today’s modern weddings. Typically the bridesmaids assist in dressing the bride and, at the time of the ceremony, stand at her left side, the first bridesmaid (or maid of honor) holding the bouquet. It is also common for the Maid of Honor to throw the bridal shower and/or Bachelorette party. There is also the classic tradition of the Maid of Honor giving a speech at the reception – so make sure that the friend you choose isn’t afraid of public speaking! On the flip side, the groomsmen (or Best Man) traditionally receive the clergyman and present him to the couple to be married, and stand to the right of the groom during the ceremony. Of course, these are just traditional tips, what you choose for your wedding can be anything.

It’s really up to you what you want your wedding to be; there are no hard and fast wedding etiquette rules anymore. If you decide that you want a classic and traditional wedding, then take a page from Emily’s book – use traditional wedding invitation wording and classic bridal party etiquette. If you and your groom are more laid back however, then making your own traditions is totally acceptable.